Please forgive me, Father ...

Why am I so surprised when God is being God?  He comes to me any time, any place, when He has something to say.  He is not predictable and that is what keeps me on my toes, so I am looking for Him and listening for His voice at any time and in any place.  He is, in a simple word - amazing!

This evening I was reading through the book of quotes, "It's Not Easy Being Green" compiled by Jim Henson's daughter, Cheryl.  I won't be specific about where I was, but, as a hint, to many mothers of young children it is the only room in the house that you can close and lock the door behind you, even for just a few minutes to find a moment of peace.  (I am no longer a mother of young children, but still find 'that' room to be a refuge of peace and quiet and a great place to ponder.)

Anyway, to get on with my story ... I was in the middle of reading - and for those of you who know I can probably still count on my hands and maybe my feet the amount of books I have read throughout my lifetime, you may now pick yourself up off the floor and shake off the state of shock that statement threw you into - yes, reading one of the quotes in this tiny little green book and there God came to me in that very special way of His with gentle yet firm conviction that I have sinned.  I felt His wonderful, loving Hands embrace me as I sobbed.  My sin?  Before I explain I must first give a little insight into my life with and love for my Lord.  Through the course of my life and the events that have dotted my journey I have been gifted and blessed with an amazing faith in God.  It seems my mind is no longer capable of thinking a thought about Him that has even a shadow of doubt that He is Who He says He is and has done what He says He has done to save my soul.  I cannot blame Him for anything that goes on down here because I know He is the all-knowing God of the universe and has a plan that is being carried out in perfection that does not deny any part of His Holy Being.  I trust Him, plain and simple.  I am committed to serving Him with every last breath He gives me and willing to do anything, anywhere, anyhow.  It is my daily prayer that I will always be ready and willing to use this gift of faith as a beacon of bright light to the world around me so that others may be witness to and enter into the Love my precious Jesus possesses for us all.  How could I have messed up so badly - and yet He loves me just the same as He did the day He died for me?  My sin?  I realized tonight that I have worn my God-assigned ministry of faith and encouragement as a burden and I have been playing the martyr because of that.  It was like a knife was thrust into my heart of hearts.  How could I have been so insensitive?  So cold?  So un-real?  No wonder my faith, a gift entrusted to me by the One I love the most, has not attracted the droves of hearts to the Heart of the Father as it should! 

Today a headlining story in our local paper and no doubt in papers around the country detailed the act of the father of a married step-daughter, age 25, and three young daughters of his own, ages 8, 7 and 4, who, according to the doctrines of his religion in order to save the honor of his family, was bound to slit the throats of these four girls because, according to the report of her husband, his step-daughter had committed adultery.  The act of killing all his daughters now would preserve the family's honor because they would not be able to commit the same sin as their step-sister.  Oh, the evil the human heart can accomplish.  But wait - this father was not repentent nor did he have an ounce of remorse in his heart when he was arrested for this crime.  Why?  He was following the mandates of his religion and in so doing was not committing a crime at all but instead an act of mercy.  He did not know this to be sin.  Father, cradle these girls in the same wonderful, loving arms You embraced me with tonight and help them to understand.

Oh, Father, please forgive me for I have sinned...  Help me to not repeat what I now know to be sin for if I do I will be worse than the father who took the lives of his children.

In the words of Kermit the Frog as quoted by Cheryl Henson in her book,

"...When green is all there is to be,

It could make you wonder why.

But why wonder, why wonder?

I am green, and it'll do fine

And I think it's what I want to be"

Lord, God - you are my Hero.  I want to be all that You want me to be - I really think I do.  Help me, please, to share my wonderful gift of faith in the sincere Love in which You bestowed it upon me so I may be the brightest spotlight shining only to illuminate You that all may see You in all Your Majestic Glory.  For all of you out there affected by this sin of mine, please forgive me, too. 

Humbled and more in love with You now than I was before You came to visit me tonight,

XXXO  Jody

Comments

[E Whitehouse]

Me too! I know that it's cliche to make New Year's resolutions but I've been feeling at loose ends for a long time. I have been focused on me and not on the One who has given me life and a purpose. My goal this year (and after) is to discover His unique plan for me and pray for the strength and faith to fulfill it.

xxxo

[Joan Carlisle]

I, too, wear my "experiences" as a burden, and allow resentment to fester even though I know it's all an opportunity for my faith to shine. I need always to remember that God has placed me where I am, allows all things through His sovereignity, and that the world is watching. When the world sees a tense, angry woman who claims faith, they aren't attracted. God is revealing myself to me, and we're working on cleaning out the crud.